Tuesday, October 29

Blogging again for a bit...

I am thoroughly enjoying my near-teenager.  I hesitate to call her a 'tween because, really, she is an old soul--a twelve-year-old with a complete disdain for girly drama and attention-getting tactics.  She is atypical in many ways.  I have found in the last year that I have slowly started to share my story with her.  Actually, I started that twelve years ago with my life, but just recently we have crossed into the territory of me explaining my own journey.  It is a delicate balance of knowing enough, but not too much. Staying innocent, but growing up.  Keeping our lines of communication open and honest without losing too much of the parent/child relationship.  My goal is not to be her best friend, but her mommy who loves her enough to talk through the hard aspects of this world with her.  This being said, just last week, she asked me what is the hardest thing for me to believe about God.  I know my answer without even thinking about it.  I have journaled miles and miles of words strung together on the topic, and I ever-so-cautiously began the adventure of unraveling just the right amount for her soul.  I may mess up, but I am confident God's grace will cover me in it.  I have an extremely hard time believing in the love of God as it stands--unconditional, complete, and forever love.  When I was done, she told me I should write it down for her.  I'm sure she will forget such a request in the days to come, but I am also sure that we will have years of discourse on the subject, so these next few entries are for her.