Friday, May 27

When You are Thirty-Five

When you are thirty-five, the days go by way too quickly. You are suddenly the age you could never imagine being, and it isn't nearly as bad or old as you thought it was. You get up in the morning and take care of little ones. You make and serve lunch and spend the afternoon taking care of little ones. You treasure those moments; you really, really do. You play games that you promised yourself you will never play again. Yet you do. You braid doll hair, and you braid little girl hair. You laugh at your children and with your children and for your children. You sing silly songs and watch impromptu dance concerts. You make dinner and cross your fingers that John will get home at a reasonable time. Your days all run into each other--slightly different but not different enough to notice. You *almost * lose yourself in this season of life.

But you don't. When you are thirty-five, something amazing happens. You begin to find yourself. Sure, your days are still VERY full of little ones. Sure, your days really don't look that different. But they feel different. When you are thirty-five, you begin to enjoy all those little moments again. You sing loudly and dance crazily and laugh obnoxiously. You enjoy your children and appreciate the little people that they are becoming. You crave conversations with them--conversations that mean something, conversations that really pull at the heart, conversations that make them think. You look for and find joy in the little things.

When you are thirty-five, you become a risk-taker. You bare your soul to a handful of friends; I mean really bare your soul, and you find camaraderie. You remember what it feels like to laugh until your sides hurt. You *sometimes* remember that you don't have to be perfect. You see what is like to not just give, give, learn to take and be cared for and be loved. You remember that, while this journey is indeed your own, you absolutely are not to venture on your own. You now know you are not alone. You remember what it is like to be dear to someone that isn't obligated to hold you dear, to be loved by people who aren't obligated to love you. You stand back and see God's hand in it all. Sometimes it is downright overwhelming. You learn to heal. Thirty-five is never too late to heal.

When you are thirty-five, you are confident that the most difficult of times are for great purpose. You are learning the things for which you are responsible, and you are learning to let go of the things and people you cannot control. You have learned not to let others control you or your idea of you. It is hard sometimes, but it is not a lesson that was easily learned or a lesson that can easily be forgotten. You know you are on the verge of something big, but you aren't quite sure what that is. You know deep down that "the something big" may just be the joy and contentment of being comfortable in your own skin again, and if that is all there is, then that is completely okay.

When you are thirty-five, you are stronger than you've ever been, and you are ready to move forward. You know what is important, and you've learned a lot from those first thirty-five years. You have an amazing husband, an amazing family, an amazing job, and amazing friends. At thirty five, you are positive that all things work together for the good. You have seen it and lived it. At thirty-five, it is yours.

1 comment:

HoltonFamily said...

Amen sister! From a fellow "35er"...well, about to turn 36...crazy! Here's to a very happy birthday!!