Saturday, May 8

The things no one told me...the serious version.

No one told me how much motherhood would change the way I view things. I am a little less daring and a little more cautious. I think a little bit more before I say things. I am a little slower to act on things. I feel the weight of my decisions more keenly.

No one told me how much my opinions would change over time. When I first set out as a mom, I had a definite way I intended on doing just about everything. I knew exactly what type of mom I would be and I knew it was the "right" way...only now I'm not that mom at all. Almost nine years into this parenting gig, and I have come to realize the value and wisdom in being a little flexible.

No one told me how much grace giving this gig would require. There are days when I am the grace-giver...the days when I discover a crooked name scribbled behind the door and the days when I ask at least 3, 276 times if someone.could.just.pick.up.the.legos. Then there are days when I must ask for a little grace from the eyes that constantly watch me. Thankfully, the days seem to balance each other out, and we all realize how fortunate we are to be a part of the same family.

No one told me how much of a mother hen I would become. When my kiddos are happy, I am happy. When they are sad, I am sad for them. When they are hurt, I just want to wrap my arms around them and protect them. But I don't, because...

No one told me how much I'd value natural life lessons. I have fought hard to provide a reasonable amount of childhood innocence for my little ones, but I have also learned to let my kiddos experience childhood to the fullest. We climb trees. We ride bikes and roller skates. We eat cookie dough. We play outside all the time. We hop fences and go on long hikes. We take our shoes off and run in the creek. We try and cram as much fun into our time as possible, and sometimes we laugh all day long. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes I find myself explaining people or explaining things or explaining life. We learn things together, and I do my best to let my kiddos experience life for themselves. I love to watch them thrive, and although it's hard at times, I love to watch them fail. I never knew how much I'd value that.

What people did tell me was how much I would love these little ones--so very, very much--and they were completely right. Mother's Day is really much more about them than me; for it is only because of them that I get the honor to be on this journey. And I really do love them so very, very much.


John said...

Happy Mother's Day babe! I love you!

Anonymous said...

Very well said, Amy. Made me tear up a bit.

The type of mom you've been and have become is more than a gift to Michael and I. I don't think you will understand until you become a grandmother how much a Godly mother(and father)brings peace of mind to grandparents. We thank the Lord for you.


Kim said...

Very sweet Amy. This reminds me of a book I saw at the library last week with a title something like, "I was the perfect mom until I became one." It made me laugh to think about how before motherhood, we very innocently think we've got it all figured out and will do such and such. Then, the babies come and we have to learn right along with them. I use to say after Gracyn was born that I got a wound in my heart that can't ever a good way. I will never be able to handle my kids flippantly or not carefully measure each decision. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the reponsibility, but it really is a joy!